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Name We'll start our cardboard journey in the top left

I figure we can make things even more chaotic by rewarding other players for hitting people who arent you and we can use the cards we draw for people to help take some of the sting out of them randomly eating 9 damage from a Blasphemous Act

slow down

Once Loyal Unicorn's lieutenant ability has resolved while you control your commander, its effects persist this turn even if you lose control of your commander or Loyal Unicorn

That leads to inter-fighting amongst your enemies that then leads to more inter-fighting and ultimately a great day will be had by all as they kill each other, and you profit